My 16th Birthday
My first few months at the Chateau flew by. It was as if the entire family had set a schedule for me without regard for the others’ plans. My days were filled with instruction of all kinds. Mornings I learned French, dancing, and etiquette under the tutelage of Phillipe and Julianna. Phillipe also instructed me in Natural Science, although it would be more accurate to say that he spoke at length about some topic or other that had caught his interest and I tried to keep up. Julianna’s mother would call for her before Phillipe’s lecture ended, and I was left struggling to stay awake.
I ate lunch with Theodore in his study. Martin joined us when his duties allowed. While we ate, Theodore talked of government, politics, history, and geography. He firmly believed that the geography of our continent would determine our history. Unlike Phillipe’s lectures, Theodore’s talks drew me in and converted me to his point of view. I diligently applied myself to learning the incredible variety of lands and waters that shaped our continent. Theodore explained how the Incas were shaped by the mountains and plains, and how the new government slowly forming after the overthrow of the Spanish must conform to the land. When I look at the map fifty years later, and see the states sharing borders with geographical regions, I see that Theodore’s arguments against a united continental country won the day.
After lunch, Martin lead me through my physical lessons. He insisted on instructing me himself in the use of the epee, rapier, and saber, although he said that if I keep growing, I’d be better suited for a claymore. Ayala joined us and we three would practice shooting with pistols, carbines, muskets, and rifles. I loved this part of the day.
My final lessons of the day were with the General. He was determined to teach me to ride like a calvary officer. He explained that your horse isn’t for dashing around the countryside, looking pretty in your fancy uniform. It is a partner in quickly closing on your enemies and killing them. He showed me how to fight from horseback and situations to avoid. Theodore referred to this as training in combat skills. The General called it “learning all the dirty tricks, so you can kill them before they kill you.”
He and I raced around a field slashing at each other with dull swords. At first I worried about injuring or even killing the old man, but after the first few times he unseated me with blows I never even saw, I stopped worrying about the General’s safety and began to look after my own. In all the months and years he fought me, he never fell. I rarely touched him, and when I did, it was a harmless, glancing blow, that he followed up by clouting me in the chest or on the head. Once, as I was sprawled on the ground and he’d circled back to see if he’d killed me, I asked him how he could still be riding like this in his seventies. He shrugged and said simply, “I am a legend.”
Evenings were my own. I’d eat with the family or in the kitchen if the Doña was out visiting and dinner was informal. I liked eating in the kitchen. It reminded me of meals with my family at Don Valenzuela’s home. After dinner I wandered around the countryside, exploring or searching for plants and birds for Maria. Sometimes I’d play billiards with Martin and Phillipe or cards with Ayala and other soldiers. Occasionally Julianna played the piano and I’d stay and listen. On inclement evenings, I might even be found reading a book. I left Phillipe’s natural history books unopened, favoring instead Theodore’s histories and geographical studies.
**********************
I tried to avoid formal occasions at the Villens’, but I couldn’t always escape. And so it was that I found myself a guest at a luncheon for visiting members of the Arguello family, a prominent ranching family from the central plains. Doña Villens had always treated me kindly, if somewhat distantly, since I had joined her household and, as such, I was seated at a small table in a rear corner of the dining room with two elderly companions to even more elderly Villens aunts and several people whose connection to the Arguello family was claimed, but unclear. I was told to refer to them as “cousins,” a flexible genealogical term that covered a wide area of irregular familial events. From my distant position, I had no hope of talking with Julianna, but I could see her and was forced to watch Rodrigo Arguello dominate her attention. I counted on Julianna’s company to make these occasions bearable and the company at my table was unable to match her charm and wit.
I was still young, but it was obvious even to me that Rodrigo had come to the Villens estate with the intention of marrying Julianna. Remembering what Don Lucien Villens had said about the great families remaining medieval, I feared that a political marriage had already been arranged been Juliana and the eldest son of the Arguelo family. The General had assured me that this would not happen, but I’d come to realize that in his steady, quiet way, Theodore was independent of his father and was calling the shots.
*********
I suppose I should say a bit about my turning sixteen. The luncheon was, in fact, on my sixteenth birthday. The Villens did not known this for the simple reason that I had not told anyone. As my birthday approached, a severe case of homesickness set in. This was my first birthday away from home. The Villens family had treated me exceptionally well, but I still missed my family. I’d asked Theodore on the morning of my birthday if I’d be able to go home by Christmas. He said that he didn’t think so and had the decency to looked pained as he did so. So there I sat, nursing my adolescent grief over my unobserved birthday.
When the meal finally ended, the honored guests at the head table rose and strolled into the gardens to enjoy the afternoon sun. Rodrigo had Julianna on his arm and glared at me as he passed. He was older than Julianna and me, eighteen or nineteen at least. I sized him up and estimated that he had three to four inches and forty pounds on me. I wasn’t intimated by any of these advantages. He looked soft, his round face puffy. I was certain that I could handle him in a fight, and if he gave me another disdainful look I planned to start one. I may have been a year older, but I still had a great deal of growing up to do. Perhaps I was jealous of Rodrigo’s ability to sweep in and assume the right to marry her. I would never be able to assume such a privilege. Yes, jealousy was a strong possibility. I thought of Julianna as a sister or cousin, but not for the first or last time my feelings were running ahead of my thoughts. Of course I would accept any opportunity to fight him. He will, of course, be too well-bred to fight me, a member of the odds-and-ends table. So why was he glaring at me? Why would he even notice me?
As he drew nearer, Rodrigo said, in a voice loud enough for the whole honor party to hear, “My dear Julianna, your family does treat its help in the most extraordinarily generous fashion.” Laughter all around, various august heads turned toward me, the Villens family looking stricken, the General fingering his sword, God bless him, Julianna’s face flushed with embarrassment, and me standing there like an idiot as the group swept out into the garden. All these images swirled in my head as I felt my stomach knot and my fists clench.
I followed them. I had found a target for all my birthday bitterness and my brain shut down. Any thinking for the next period of time would be done by my muscles. My emotions must have been transparent for I hadn’t the wit to disguise them. I had taken two strides to close on Rodrigo when Ayala stepped into my path and guided me away. He maneuvered my out of the gardens and over to the stables. I demanded that he get out of my way and he politely refrained from laughing. I might be sixteen, but I still had many years of growth ahead of me before I had any chance of moving Ayala out of my way.
Ayala told me that he had heard what Rodrigo had said. He acknowledged that it was an offensive remark and that Rodrigo should be squashed like a bug. “But he is one of our betters,” Ayala explained carefully. “You and I can only kill them in battle. Or a duel, of course, but he would never fight a duel with the the likes of you or me.”
I immediately demanded a duel. Ayala patiently explained that I couldn’t challenge a high-ranking aristocrat such as Rodrigo. He couldn’t challenge me either. There was nothing I could do against Rodrigo, so Ayala told me I had to control of my emotions. I didn’t want to control my emotions. I knew that Ayala was correct, but I wanted to pay Rodrigo back for his insult.
While we were talking, two strangers approached us from the gardens. They were dressed in officers’ uniforms of the Arguello regiment. Ayala asked them what they wanted. “We are here to see the wolf-child,” said the thin one. “Yes, we understand that Villens has taken in one of those wild Irish as a pet,” said the other blandly. I moved toward them, but Ayala once again stepped in front of me. The men looked past him at me, while he addressed them in a calm, soothing voice. “Why don’t you fine gentlemen return to the garden. The flowers are lovely and you’re a lot less likely to get your dainty asses kicked.”
The men paused, uncertain at what they’d heard, then turned their focus on Ayala. They took a step back when they saw the size of the bear they’d roused. “Be still, Lieutenant,” ordered the one dripping in gold braid. Ayala removed his uniform jacket and answered, “There are no Lieutenants here. Just Finn O’Brien and his friend, Luis Ayala.”
The Arguello men were sizing up Ayala and considering sending for reserves when a sarcastic voice cut through the silence. “Is the foundling proving too difficult for you, gentlemen?” It was Rodrigo. He had slipped away from the crowd in the garden and had come to see what his men had done with me. My first thought was how could I start a battle.
Ayala fixed Rodrigo with a menacing stare. The aristocrat struggled not to take a step back and, to his credit, he succeeded. Blood will tell and all that. Had Ayala lost control, Rodrigo’s would have been a Pyrrhic victory. “It has come to my attention that the Irish wild-man has been pestering Julianna with his unwelcome attentions. Should he persist I will be forced to teach him his manners.”
No battle, alright, a duel then. “I demand satisfaction,” I yelled.
One of Rodrigo’s minions laughed and said, “Don Arguello wouldn’t trouble himself to fight a duel with one such as you, boy.”
Rodrigo added, “You will have to get your satisfaction elsewhere, cur.”
All self- control gone, I shot back, “Which, I hear, is what you mother ...”
“Enough,” roared General Villens, arriving on the scene on horseback. “Put down those weapons all of you. Lieutenant Ayala, get you uniform on. There will be no brawling here.”
“Come here, Finn,” ordered the General and I walked over to him. “You as well, Don Rodrigo.” Rodrigo thought things over for a short while and then decided to obey the General. People did. The two of us stood before the General and he considered us in silence. A sunny smile played around his eyes, but his mouth was firm and unsmiling. “Let’s think about this for a bit, shall we?” Lucien said. “The boy was about to say something unpleasant about you mother, Rodrigo. You would have forgotten yourself and challenged him to a duel. Finn would have the choice of weapons. At this time he’s a poor swordsman. You are a highly trained, talented one. In six months, he will be capable of slicing you into however many pieces he chooses, but for now, you would win. You should know, Rodrigo, (who was so busy preening over the praise of his swordsmanship that he missed the insult), Finn is typical of his race. The Irish are foolish in many things, but not in fighting. He isn’t going to choose the aristocratic sword. He’ll choose pistols.” The General called to Ayala and told him to give me his pistols.
“Finn, do you see that apple on the branch hanging over the stream?” I told the General I did. “Do you see it as well, Rodrigo?” he asked. He nodded. “Now that apple is at least five times the distance Finn will be from you in your duel, Don Rodrigo.” The General waited a moment and then said, “Finn, shoot the apple.” I placed a bullet in the center of the apple.
“That is no great distance,” sneered Rodrigo.
“No, you’re right. We better make the test more challenging.” The General looked around, hunting a new target. “Ayala, when I command throw a rock into that pine tree past the apple tree. There is a bird on the upper branch. Finn, hit the bird in flight.” Ayala walked a ways toward the tree, then threw the rock when the General ordered. He startled the bird and I brought it down in flight. Rodrigo stiffened, but did not respond.
The General watched Rodrigo and seemed to waiting for him to speak. When he didn’t. the General handed me one of his pistols. “Finn, do you see Don Rodrigo’s right ear?” he asked. Rodrigo clapped a hand over his ear and began to protest this latest challenge. “I would stand very still if I were you, Don Rodrigo,” advised the General. The young man quivered a bit as he struggled to stay perfectly still.
“Finn,” said the General in a calm, contemplative tone, “Do you suppose you could place a shot so close to Don Rodrigo’s ear that he could hear it fly by over the pounding of his heart?” I assured him that I was willing to try.
“Rodrigo,” asked the General. “Do you think that Finn could make such a shot?” Rodrigo responded that he did and that no proof was necessary.
“Then let’s all agree that it has been done,” said the general cheerfully. “I don’t think that there will be any further insults or duels. Don Rodrigo, I will guarantee that Finn will not trouble you further. I trust that you and you people will agree to do the same. Perhaps this matter would best be forgotten and we all should return to our parties.” Rodrigo and men started for the garden at a pace just short of running.
When they disappeared behind the hedges, the Ayala started laughing, but the General silenced him. The old man called me over to him. I returned his pistol to him and tried not to look him in the face. He was clearly angry with me. “It’s time for a lesson, Finn,” he said sternly. Ayala quietly slipped away. “You were about to do something very reckless. Insulting Don Rodrigo would have made it very difficult for you to remain here with us. You would have killed that boor in a duel and his family would not have accepted that. They would have provoked you until finally someone killed you in a duel.”
“You cannot be reckless in order to feel better. That’s a sure way to get killed. There are times to be reckless and reasons to be reckless, but self-pity must never be the reason. You must always keep your wits about you to determine if recklessness is proper. If you see a small weakness in an enemy that you can slip into and shatter them, like a knife blade finding an opening and prying it apart, then go, whatever the odds. If you are outnumbered and the enemy is scattered, a reckless attack followed by a swift retreat can be effective. If you are outnumbered and have no other options, then slam into your enemy as hard as you can and keep moving forward until you are through their lines or dead. All these moves are reckless, but if you take them with at least part of your mind clear, you have a chance of surviving and leading your troops to safety. In none of these cases are you attacking because your feelings are hurt. Reason must hold the reins on recklessness and reason must unleash it.””
“I have done all these reckless things many times and here I am. Stories are told of my acts. Of course, you must remember that I am a legend.”
******************
When the General had returned to the garden, I walked under the trees for a while to calm myself. I succeeded somewhat, but decided that I had no desire to attend a formal dinner. If that pompous ass, Rodrigo, said anything to me, I wasn’t sure what I’d do. I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of the Villens family after all they’d done for me, so I sent a message to Doña Villens that I was ill and requested that a light supper be sent to my room.
To my surprise, the Doña herself came to my room to see how I was feeling. My room was on the third floor of the west tower, quite a long way from the main living quarters of the Chateau. She asked if I needed a doctor and I assured her that I’d be fine with a little rest. She left, promising to return after dinner to check on me. Prior to this, the Doña had been polite to me, but not very interested. I didn’t know why she changed her attitude. I hoped she hadn’t heard Rodrigo’s insults and now pitied me.
I settled in for a long night of maudlin thoughts about Rodrigo marrying Julianna, my sixteenth birthday going unnoticed, how I was the most miserable person alive, and generally wallowing in adolescent self-pity. If I ever were to write the bleak, self-centered poetry of youth, that would have been the night, but my atrocious spelling and limited vocabulary prevented that embarrassment.
My dinner arrived and I tried to pick at it as a sick man might, but I was hungry and the food was quite good. I wound up sneaking down to the kitchens for a second helping. It was my birthday after all, I thought, as I ate another chicken leg, and I assumed that it would be the only present I’d get.
I’d managed to maintain a proper morose state for almost three hours, when a heavy knock resounded on my door. It was an official knock and, when I opened the door, one of Theodore Villens’ captains was standing there backed by two lancers. “Is Señorita Julianna here with you?,” the captain demanded.
The question came completely out of the blue. “No,” I answered. “Isn’t she at the dinner?”
The captain ignored my question and looked past me into my room. “Step aside,” he ordered. “I must search your room.”
I stood my ground, quickly sloughing off the lethargy that had taken hold of me. “I said that she is not here,” I snapped angrily. “Is my word no longer trusted in this house?”
The captain was unimpressed. “If you are hiding the Señorita you will be dismissed from your soft life in this house,” he spat at me.
I reached for the sword I’d earlier tossed onto a chair. “If my word is no longer respected here, I will leave of my own accord,” I said, my voice cold and angry. “But all that is in the future. Right now, you will not search my room.” I raised my sword and made it clear that I would fight rather than have my room searched as if I were a common criminal.
The captain stood in the doorway with the two lancers at his back and stared at the boy with sword who was defying them. Whatever the consequences, there was no way in Hell he was going to search my room. I had a large chip on my shoulder that would take more than this captain to dislodge. I must have convinced the captain for he turned and walked away. One of the lancers grinned and winked at me as they followed the captain down the hall. I struggled to keep from grinning back.
I quickly dressed and armed myself then ran to the dining hall. I peered through a small window in a side entry door and saw that Theodore and Martin were absent. I ran to Theodore’s study and found them there. Martin told me that Julianna was missing. No one had seen her since the company had scattered throughout the gardens. She had sent her maid to get her a cool drink and was gone when the maid returned. The maid searched for her for hours and then told Doña Villens that Julianna was missing. Everyone had searching for her since. I asked what I could do. Martin told me to get five troopers and search the grounds beyond the gardens and around the carriage houses.
In no time I was searching the open grounds past the gardens. Julianna and I often rode across this rolling grassland where sheep grazed and she might have wandered out here to get away from the crowds in the garden. I was worried that Julianna might have somehow hurt herself and was lying in the darkness alone and frightened. Then I thought that it could be worse. Julianna was a small girl and she should have not have wandered alone out here. I hoped that she hadn’t.
We swiftly covered the cleared ground and found no sign of Julianna. Men on horseback were searching the further hills, so we raced over to the carriage houses as Martin had directed. The six of us had nearly completed our search when a carriage followed by a pony cart came to a halt in the courtyard. I recognized, but could not place, the carriage. The pony cart was driven by a footman in the livery of Doña de la Vega. The footman leapt from the cart and raced to the carriage to lower the steps and open the door. To my complete surprise, Maria and then Julianna stepped down.
Without thinking, I hugged them both in turn. Maria laughed and said that everything was fine. Julianna shivered and then returned my hug in way that gave me my first glimpse that Maria might not be the most desirable woman in the world. I stepped back and looked at Julianna who looked back at me boldly, not turning away. When I finally broke away from Julianna’s eyes, I saw Maria watching us thoughtfully. “I believe we should take Julianna to her father,” said Maria softly. I agreed and lead Maria and Julianna to Theodore’s study. We walked in silence. I was lost in wonder at the meaning of the long look I’d shared with Julianna.
The silence was broken when, with Maria’s urging, Julianna began to tell me what had happened. Rodrigo had found Julianna alone in the garden after he had been sent away by the General. He was angry and accused Maria of things that she was unwilling to repeat. I angrily worked my hand across the hilt of my sword. Maria adjusted her pace to draw even with me and placed her hand on mine. “This is not the time,” she whispered and I withdrew my hand from my sword. Julianna continued, saying that Rodrigo and grabbed her and kissed her. I asked her how she escaped from him. She didn’t want to say. Maria spoke up. “She had had lessons from her grandfather. She punched Rodrigo in the throat and ran.” I looked at thin, small Julianna and imagined her punching tall, powerful Rodrigo. I stifled a laugh.
Julianna took up the story again. She kept running until she reached the carriage houses. She did not want to return to house and risk running into Rodrigo. The pony cart was hitched for any children who wished to ride in it. She climbed in and rode away. She decide to ride all the way to Puerto Seguro to find Maria. As luck would have it, Maria met her a short way from the Chateau. “Not exactly luck,” said Maria. I had no idea what Maria had said. I was thinking about where I might find Rodrigo after I’d delivered the ladies to Theodore and how I would kill him.
We reached the study and walked in without knocking. The guards saw Julianna and stepped aside, broad smiles on their faces. Theodore jumped out of his chair and raced over to Julianna, seizing her in a tight embrace. The General was sitting in front of the desk, beaming at me. I could read his expression. His prize student had saved the fair maiden. The General thought mythically. I shook my head and pointed at Maria. “General Lucien Villens, I would like to introduce my good friend, Señorita Maria Valenzuela, the true rescuer of your granddaughter.”
The General stood and executed a graceful bow. He offered Maria his seat and took her by the hand to lead her over to it. He produced sherry from a small flask and found two glasses in a small cabinet behind the desk. Soon the two were chatting away like old friends. Theodore was busy listening to Julianna tell about her meeting with Rodrigo. Theodore’s usually calm exterior was slowly replaced with an expression of barely controlled fury. I decided that it was time for me to settle things with Rodrigo.
I took several steps toward the door when Theodore barked a command at me to halt. I’d never heard the gentle man speak like this before. “Sit down, Finn,” he ordered. I sat. “This is a father’s duty, not yours.” I looked at the General who had turned away from Maria when he’d heard his son’s raised voice. His face was carefully neutral. He was yielding the moment to his son, Julianna’s father. As always, I followed the General’s lead.
Theodore dispatched a captain to locate Don Rodrigo and bring him to the study. Julianna was sent with two guards to her mother. The General invited Maria and I to his study. Theodore sat behind his desk perfectly still waiting for Rodrigo. I have no idea what he said, but Rodrigo left the Chateau before breakfast and resigned his commission in the army. The General told me that he was satisfied with these actions, but would have been happier with castration.
After Rodrigo was dismissed, Theodore sent a messenger requesting that we return to his study. The General led Maria and I and we saw that Julianna and Doña Villens were already present. Apparently Martin and Phillipe were still searching for Julianna and had not been located yet. It was nearly mid-night, but everyone was energized by Julianna’s safe return. Theodore said we should celebrate Julianna’s safe return and he poured wine for everyone. The General insisted that we drink to Maria, Julianna’s rescuer. From the gleam in his eye as he looked at Maria, I was afraid the old reprobate was planning on proposing to her. The wine glasses were refilled and slowly everyone, including the General, relaxed as the tension of the evening dissolved.
It was nearly one in the morning and the conversation was beginning to lag when Theodore stopped in mid-sentence and turned to Maria. “Señorita Valenzuela, I just realized that I have no idea why you happened to be a short way outside our gates.” He turned to his wife and Martin, who had just joined us. “Did either of you invite Señorita Valenzuela to the dinner?”
Before either could answer, Maria laughed and said, “I was hoping that I could escape all your kindness without having to explain why I here without an invitation. I assure you Major Villens, I was not planning on insinuating myself into your company uninvited.” The General interjected that she was welcome anytime, anytime at all, no invitation was required for one so charming. Maria smiled warmly at the old man and continued.
“As it happens, I was not here to visit any of your family, not even Martin, although I am glad of the chance to spend time with him again. I have also enjoyed meeting your father, the famous General Lucien, and visiting with the rest of your family. But the truth is I was planning on slipping into the courtyard and sending for Finn.”
All heads turned toward me. I was as surprised as anyone and stared at Maria wondering what could bring her so far to see me. “You see,” said Maria, “I was thinking a few weeks ago how much I missed my father and the O’Briens, who are like family to me. I began to wonder how Finn was doing with you. I was sure that he must be homesick. I decided to write a letter to his family and then I realized that his sixteenth birthday was approaching. Before long I received a return letter from Finn’s family along with birthday presents to deliver to Finn. Since his birthday is nearly over, I suggest that anyone who isn’t too tired join me in the courtyard to unload Finn’s presents and wish him a happy sixteenth birthday.”
And so they all did. We celebrated my birthday in the courtyard and moved into the stables when the night air grew cold. The General entertained us with a variety of jokes about birthdays and mangers, while Maria and Martin managed to slip into the darkness for a bit of privacy. Julianna and I talked for hours until her mother requested that she walk with her to the house. Maria refused to stay, and returned to her home at Doña de la Vega mansion in Puerto Seguro. Martin, Phillipe, Theodore, Lucien, and I sat in the stables until dawn. I listened to the General’s war stories, Theodore’s plans for the future of the new country, Phillipe’s tales of Paris life, and Martin’s insistence that he marry Maria soon. They listened to my stories about my family and Don Valenzuela, about my specimen hunting with Maria, and about adventures I’d had prowling the grassland as a small boy.
As I mentioned, Julianna was also at the party. At sixteen, I didn’t know what I felt about her. She was still a young girl, four years younger than me. But I knew that on that night something had changed. I felt differently about her, but I didn’t know what those feelings were. In three or four years, I would know. In eight years, I married her. Almost fifty years later, I am still married to her and am still warmed by those feelings.
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