Several people have said I was brave to face down the kid with the gun. Usually they then say I was crazy or beg me never to do it again. I don't know what to say when they talk of bravery. I didn't feel brave at the time and I don't feel brave now. I couldn't even tell you what bravery means. Something happened and I responded. I didn't decide what to do, I just acted. I was aware of all the kids and gun. I was aware of the danger to all of them. I knew that I was in danger as well, but somehow that didn't matter. I just knew that the kid couldn't start shooting. He just couldn't. I was there and I had to stop him. And I know that I would do it again.
Bravery seems so demeaned these days. Perhaps all values are, I don't know. Maybe the corruption of our times has left no ideal untarnished. No worthy act or sentiment can escape exploitation by the all consuming money machine. After the first two world wars, some poets forsook poetry claiming that language had been so corrupted that poetry was impossible. Maybe that time has come for words like "bravery." Maybe I'm just full of shit.
All I know is that if what I did was bravery, they never tell you about the cost.
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